Future Issues To Consider For Pockets

I noticed the lack of ladies on this project. We may end up looking good with our new cell phone holding devices, but whose eyes are we trying to catch in the end?

As I'm not an engineer feel free to disregard my "out of the pocket" thinking. I'll leave it to the engineers to CAD and FEA these dreams into reality:

• We could incorporate cell phones into the body directly. Surely it would not be too difficult to implant the phone into the non-dominant hand of the user.
  
• We could also join up with some neuroscientists and work on implanting the cell phone directly into the brain. I'm sure Microsoft, Sony, Verizon or some other wonderful corporation is hard at work on it.

We also need to address some future issues of those who we are marketing to, which will, most likely, consist of Americans (the final three points are of tangential importance but must be noted):

1. Morbid obesity: By 2011 most garments bought in America will be muumuus (see attached .jpg). No pockets on those folks.
   
2. Shut-in syndrome: By 2013 36% of Americans won’t get beyond fourteen feet of their beds. Some pajama and robe models are necessary if we'd like to maintain market share.
   
3. Functional illiteracy: We must develop phones that don’t have numbers on them as people won't know what they are. 75% of tenth graders today can't tell the difference between a noun and a verb.

4. Our market's environmental concerns: People are thinking green, but not many of them. A recent poll found that 0.001% of Americans ‘think green’(the poll had a margin of error of plus or minus 0.001%). 99.999% think grayish brown and they’re lovin’ it. Most Americans believe the world will end when they die or that the Rapture will happen within their lifetime, thus they are hell bent on destroying Mother Earth. We need to make sure whatever we manufacture uses fossil fuels or they just won't buy it. If we're burning wood to generate power we need to have it come from a rainforest. We are Americans. We’re on this Earth to dominate it.

5. Our market's labor concerns: Matthew, you’re in a unique position to help us. With all of your overseas experience you’ll be able to pinpoint which country America has not exploited to its fullest yet. Within that virgin territory we’ll be able to establish entirely new sweatshops. If it ain't made in a sweatshop it ain't a saleable good.

Best,
Andy,

Nota bene: Matthew you sit Indian style? Indian? I hope AISEC doesn't read these e-mails or you're gonna get canned. Please, cross-legged or (give the guy some credit) Squanto-style.